Monday, November 11, 2013

Rogaine please

I am surprised I have hair right now.  Somehow I must have lost an entire day and I feel as if I'm going to go bald trying to catch up.  I know what I want to say and I've figured out ways to back up what I say with facts so it does not sound like solely my opinion; however, I feel deadlines passing me by without even being aware of them.  I totally missed out on a whole assignment about the conference paper. I thought I submitted it and when I went to check it wasn't.  I got down on myself for not double-checking and being so absent-minded.  Today I realized I missed another assignment completely!  It's a rut I'm in because I was late to work twice this week - once on accident because I woke up and was ready in time but got busy straightening my house and had to rush to work and the other I wrote down the wrong time so I was 1/2 hour late.  I am such a hard worker at my job, unlike some others who will stand around and just chat without doing something else, so to have my boss give me her disappointed look because I was late made me a bit angry too. I was already mad at myself and I admitted that I must have put it in my phone wrong, but for someone who "saves the day" by taking other people's shifts when they get sick or have an emergency or stays late when asked because there are extra hours, I felt like all my hard work was for nothing.

This semester has really been difficult and I consider myself to be a pretty good manager of my time, so yeah, frustrated is how I feel about my research this week.  I know this paper will rock but right now, I feel like Bon Jovi - "livin on a prayer."  As I reread sections of Gail Collin's "When Everything Changed" I feel these women's frustrations also.  My boss, a female, is usually understanding, so I try to imagine working for a male about 50 years ago and I want to salute these women warriors who blazed the trail for me.  So, looking to my foremothers, I am using my frustration to say ENOUGH! and onward I shall forge - not letting these setbacks get the best of me.  Like the Phoenix, I will rise from the ashes of my failures and become something much better.

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