When Research Goes Personal

On the outside I am calmly reading articles from The Shriver Report from the last few days that have caused me inside to throw an adult tantrum like Adam Sandler.  I am reading story after story about successful career women who are heavily debating opting out or stay-at-home dads that think for some reason their staying home means they are not required to do all the things the mom does.  Who cares about mismatched socks?  Who cares if he still expects his wife to cook dinner after being at work all day because he was home with the kids?  A volcano of four-letter words comes to mind when I think of how much this all bothers me.

Perhaps it is true, we research things that matter the most to us.  And true, perhaps we get too attached to our research to objectively see things anymore.  Is it wrong that I want to take the SAH Dad and shake him until somehow it clicks that being a SAH Dad means all the things that the SAH Mom do are now his responsibility?  Cooking meals, laundry and cleaning are not things that require a vagina to do properly.  And while there ARE some men out there that understand this concept, the majority of SAH Dads seems to be disillusioned that they don't have to do things the same way because they aren't moms.

Has the women's lib movement died and no one told me?  Did all those strikes and sit-ins and protests over equal pay and rights mean that women now get to go to the jobs that pay less for them simply because they are women while their husbands stay home to watch the kids yet still feel justified in asking "what's for dinner?"  What's for dinner?!?! How about WTF? When did we accept that going to work meant we only added more work to our load and receive only a fraction of the benefit?  How much more of getting a fraction of the whole are we going to take?  Are we not outraged enough?

Or are we simply too tired to think of anything else except the next time we can hit the pillow for a few hours before we have to do it all again?  We are wearing ourselves out.  We cannot fight because we are too weak.  We stretch ourselves too thin and we have become weaker instead of stronger.  This is how I see it, if the SAH Dads can ask their breadwinner wives once they come home from work when dinner is, we have every right to reply, "Whatever you made. I've had a long day and I'm tired."  As women, we already know what it is like to be the one responsible for the housework and children.  We want a taste of the business world.  If men want a taste of our world, should we not hold them to the same standards we placed on ourselves?  It is obvious to any woman who breaks the glass ceiling that to play with the business men, one must be able to keep up with the business men.  If I have to miss a parent-teacher meeting to attend a board meeting, my SAH husband can make a meatloaf without overcooking it and having to order a pizza instead.